Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
