The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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