I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize