And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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