i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
