note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
