i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
