New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
false alarm, still single
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
