i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
