Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
