Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
