I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
