you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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