so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
if i died would you start the facebook group?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
