I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
4 words: hood of his car
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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