i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
