im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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