you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
