She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize