Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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