my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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