on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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