apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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