She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
