i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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