yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
