Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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