just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
