I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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