For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize