He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
