Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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