I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
