it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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