We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize