btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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