Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
