Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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