At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
