It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I touched a dick in church today
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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