no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
