like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
