Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
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