remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
