I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
