Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
