Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
sex in a hospital.. check
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
