Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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