my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
