why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
