we have officially lost it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Randomize
