I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
