Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
