thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
