now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
