And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
