thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
