He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
