You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
