Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
