Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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